your room smells of hookers.
And success
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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