Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
