I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize