i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
