laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
