I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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