the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
