My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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