Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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