i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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