apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
