Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize