made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
