On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
