I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
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All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
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We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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