Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
