I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
