You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
