dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just forgot I was standing up.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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