break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
