I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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