I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
