Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
