He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
