remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Randomize