in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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