their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize