im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
