Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
