Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
