Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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