in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
