omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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