Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
...so i touched it.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
