the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
