so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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