The maid of honor just puked.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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