I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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