I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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