theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
