Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
