i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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