She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
