I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
