I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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