First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
