he thought i was a dude.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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