So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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