But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize