I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Randomize
