At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I could have mohawked her pubes.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
