Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
